Now That’s a Good Word Right There…

I was reading through an old YouthWalk magazine that I had the other day and came across this one section that was really awesome. Enjoy

“We’re in the same place as the Israelites were–on the journey to the Promised Land. We can learn this from them: Manna always comes before the milk and honey.

You will go through months or even years where life isn’t everything you hoped for. Your days feel monotonous, you feel like you’re not making a difference, you have to deal with annoying people day after day, you feel stuck in a routine, and life gets old. Because life isn’t everything you hoped it would be at times doesn’t mean God isn’t providing for you. If you pay attention you’ll realize that He does give you exactly what you need for each day. It could be that one friend who really gets you or encouragement from someone you look up to.

How has God provided for you today? Recently? Thank Him for it. While you may be just getting manna, remember that God has promised you milk and honey–it’s coming. Don’t complain your way through the manna days. Instead, learn gratitude, trust, faith, and thankfulness during  your manna days so that you don’t forget Him when in the land of milk and honey.”

I Will Learn to Sing

As some people may have heard, Holy Spirit crazyness is breaking out at IHOP-KC. Let’s just say I didn’t exactly take that news all too well. In short summation, I was offended, flipped out, and felt like I fell back 10 steps right when I thought I was moving forward with all this “getting used to being back here” junk. All the questions came up, all the frustrations, all the, “What am I doing here? I just fold clothes every day, I don’t care about New Jersey, I don’t know what I care about, I just want what I want and I know that’s not cool, so Dude, if you don’t help me out here I don’t know what I’m going to do.” And what blows my mind is just the Lord’s patience with me. I mean I could have basically put myself in Psalm 73:21. “Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind. I was so foolish and ignorant; I was like a beast before You.” But here’s the killer…”Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.”

Sidenote: If there’s any “secret to encounter with the Lord” if you will, that I could give right now, it would be to just be honest with Him about how you feel. Give Him all that you’re feeling just like you would tell your best friend. But don’t just spill your heart out and leave and think your time is over. You wouldn’t just tell you’re best friend everything that’s going on, hysterically cry and say, “Okay so good talking to ya, till next time!” That’s ridiculous. Instead, wait. Wait and see what happens. Let Him speak back to you. Let Him comfort you. Watch and see what He does when you interact with Him in blatant transparency. Take a look at the Psalms, it’s all over the place there. Being able to be honest with the Lord about where I’m at has been such a gift to me especially in times like these recently. Take what you’re feeling, release it to Him, lean on Your beloved in faith and He will come. He will come. I love being able to just be straight up with the Lord, it unlocks my heart and brings me into such a unique place of intimacy. It makes my relationship feel like a real relationship with Someone.

Back to whatever I was saying. All I know, and have to hope for really is that the Lord is doing something deeper in me through all this. Through my pain, through my frustrations and through choosing to love and worship Him and trust His leadership in the midst of it. I have no idea what’s going on in my heart when I choose to throw myself on Him in this time but it’s gotta be something for my good.

When I was talking to my brother Drew yesterday about all the junk I was feeling he said this one thing that really struck me.

“This is how love is tested. Nobody ever tells you that it looks like that. Fire burns. That’s why it’s called dying to self and why there is mourning because it’s death. But there is resurrection, I promise. The saints we love and admire are the ones who learn to love and worship in the midst of their seasons.”

This is how love is tested. That’s it. My love is being tested. Refined. Put through the fire. Offense is being brough to the surface. The Master Craftsman is doing some intense work, for real. Will I learn to sing in the midst of the wilderness? Will I learn to sing in the midst of the fire? He’s brought me here for one main purpose. To bring me forth in love. I have to constantly bring my mind and the emotions of my heart to recognize His beautiful mercy in His leadership and kindness to have me grow in love and dependency upon Him and Him alone now and not later. Fire burns. This stinkin hurts and isn’t fun to be completely honest. But I will learn to sing. I will learn to sing.

I feel like this is what the Lord would be saying to me right now. Not word for word, didn’t have an intense, “Thus saith the Lord” moment, just an impression from His heart to mine I guess you can say that I’ll just manifest with words with a little help from Laura Hackett if you can pick up on it :

“Will you love Me here Brittany? Will you still say “yes” even though you don’t have what you want right now? Even though you’re not where you’d want to be or with who you’d want to be with? Will you still marry Me? Did you really mean it when you said you would? When you said “turn my little world upside down?” When you said, “I surrender all” or “Come and take Your place in the center of my heart.” When you sang, “Take me through the fire, take me through the rain, take me through the testing, I’ll do anything.” Can’t you see, I’m answering the sincere cry of your heart that I saw. You said that you would marry Me. Did you mean it, because I meant it. Always and forever, I mean it. I meant it when I said I’m forever yours. Be forever Mine. Please lean on Me, please give into Me, I just can’t take it anymore, you gotta be Mine. Be Mine. Please say “yes.” Will you have Me and Me alone? I have to be your supreme source of joy. A location can not. Even those you hold dear to you can not. You can’t base your happiness and contentment on your outward circumstances but rather, an internal & eternal reality. The unseen. My love for you. I said again and again, “abide in Me, abide in Me, you in Me and I in you, united, one, together, always.” Make your home in Me for I have made My home in you. Delight yourself in Me for I have delighted Myself in you. Let Me be your exceedingly great reward for you are Mine. Set Me before you for I have set you before My face forever. Love Me in the midst of pain and suffering for I have loved you and set you as the joy before Me when I suffered more than anyone could ever imagine. Watch what I’ll do in your heart. Just watch what will happen each time you say “yes” when you feel pain. Each time you say, “I love you still” when you’re heart feels like it’s been ripped open. Know that I am undone. Overwhelmed. Ravished. Don’t let that become language. You really have no idea what that means. Find out. Oh, the weight and the glory of what you’re doing when you still chose Me, the eternal weight of glory. Just wait and see, it really is for but a moment. Trust Me. Cling to Me. Have Me. Hold Me. Never let go. I never have.”

I say, “yes.”

Give it up for the pre-wild

Before I came back to Jersey I had a talk with my lovely roomate Dora about what we felt like we were going back into when we were going home. And basically we came to a similiar conclusion for both of us…it’s time for the wilderness. She was going to the “wild” (short for wilderness) and I was going into the “pre-wild.” The only reason I think I called it a “pre-wild” though was because I didn’t think it was going to be super long, didn’t expect to be in Jersey for a long time, no major year-age going on in the wilderness. But in reality, who am I to say it couldn’t be longer? I have no clue but I guess we’ll find out.

As much as I would have loved to say at IHOP, I knew before I left that coming back here was the best thing for my heart. I probably never thought that I would say that but it’s true. All I know is that something has to get grounded in my heart, something has to happen with my relationship with Jesus that can only happen in this context at this time in my life and I can’t go back there until whatever that “something” is happens. As much as IHOP will always be a home for me, I gotta get to know Him as my home first and foremost. It’s so easy to be all “blaaaahh the wildernessssssss” but in reality, the truth that I have to keep speaking over myself is that it’s a beautiful and glorious gift and as “blaaah” as I may get, I know it’s exactly what I need.

So after being home for two weeks and sorting through all the frustrations and what not, I really have come to a place of knowing that this is right where the Lord wants me and I’m not gonna lack anything, even here. Buuut I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I’m excited about being home lol  Let’s just say the Lord has some stuff to shift in my heart if I end up being here for more than a year. So You gotta help me out here Dude, hardcore. And the best part is that He will. I love that He loves to teach me and He’s not gonna leave me hanging. All I have to do is admit that I need help, ask Him, and He’s on it, I so love that about Him. His faithfulness and the way He deals with our hearts blows my mind.

So as Dora says to me again and again, “Give it up for the pre-wild!”

I’ll leave ya with some notes and quotes that I took down from Bob Sorge. He was in Jersey this past Sunday and had some awesome things to say. Enjoy

• David was the only one quoted by Jesus on the cross
• “What kind of journey do you have to walk to be someone that Jesus quotes?” (this blew my mind, Jesus used David’s words as His own on the cross, it just hit me how much of a friend of God David was, he really did connect with the heart of God, it’s like you can’t tell where David ends and the Lord begins sometimes…it’s being one with Him)
• Hebrew 10:19 – have boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus = instant intimacy
• What’s the holiest place in the universe? The bosom of the Father
• Holiness is about where you are, you become a holy one not because of who you are (what you do and all that) but because of where you are.
• “He didn’t die for you to visit the throne room. He died for you to live in the throne room.”