Washington Update

Soooo it’s been forever since I’ve posted an update on here and there’ve been some pretty neat things that the Lord’s been opening up for me that I’d like to share with y’all .

Back in February I started a girls bible study with some of the girls from youth group. A couple months before that it was really on my heart to do some type of bible study with them but I just could not decide for the life of me what to do. So one day I just told the Lord how I couldn’t decide between things like Song of Solomon, the life of David, John the Beloved and when I asked Him to show me what to do He revealed to me that if I had the First Commandment as the main focus we could do ALL of those! Seriously, Jesus’ smartness makes me fall more in love with Him. That was perfect! And He basically gave me the whole first session which was so awesome. So about mid February we started and that’s been our main focus and over arching banner. My heart and prayer with this is that the Lord would use this to continue to till the soil of these precious girl’s hearts and that they would begin to build upon that foundation that can not be shaken. So far we’ve been focusing on how the Lord feels about us before getting into how we walk out loving Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The Holy Spirit reminded me that we love because He first loved us so it’d only make sense to focus on His love for us first. I think my favorite part so far is seeing how the Lord speaks to these girls and the truths that are beginning to take root in their hearts at their ages. It’s also just another testimony to how Wellspring sows those seeds into them that they do hear from the Lord and that He desires to speak with them. The Lord’s been working on my heart through this too which is always good. Doesn’t always feel good lol but it is. Basically it’s just working on me getting over my lazyiess to talk to the Lord when preparing for it and sincerely investing in these beautiful ladies. And what I’ve found is that through just doing this WITH the Lord, it really is easy and light! I don’t ever want to fall into doing things for Jesus as oppose to with Him. It makes such a difference. Another thing the Lord’s been teaching me through leading them is that the best thing that I could do is to pray for their hearts. To ask the Holy Spirit to release the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus when we meet and beyond that. I can’t change them, I can’t make revelation stick, I can’t reveal Jesus to the human heart. I’m involved and the Lord loves to use me and partner with me but it’s not in and of myself. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can do that. And how awesome is it that all we have to do is ask? I just love how the Lord’s using this as another avenue to teach me about the value of prayer and partnering with Him

Another pretty significant update is that I’m part of a worship team at church To some of you that probably seems super unexpected because I never really shared with anyone my desire to worship through song and music. I mostly didn’t because I was really self conscious about it. But the Lord has been so awesome and kind to breathe life into this desire of my heart and remove the lies of the enemy that held me back. In the past I’ve even had some pretty significant experiences with the Lord in regards to worship but in my head I never really knew how it was gonna come to pass I guess. But of course, the Lord knew just what to do in His perfect timing. I was given a guitar before I came out here and up until October-ish I was just messing around with what I could and then began guitar lessons with one of the worship leaders from church. It’s been such a blessing to have leaders who sincerely believe in and want to invest in me. Around March another one of the worship leaders had asked me about possibly joining his worship team. With that I knew that that was a door the Lord was opening for me and jumped on board. I feel like I’m still getting used to the dynamics and all that jazz so I’m just doing my best to keep my heart before the Lord with it all and to grab hold of what He wants to do in me through this. I just really love that place of encounter you find through music and song with the Lord. It’s so unique I think. I love that He made us this way.

I think that’s about it so far as major updates. I’m still babysitting during the week and that’s still going well . I’m really grateful for the mom training it’s giving me for sure. Still working with the youth in general too. In a couple weeks we’re going to a one night Jesus Culture worship thing on the west side so I’m really excited about that. And overall, I’m still enjoying my time out here in the Burg. Like I’ve told a bunch of you, I continue to see the Lord’s perfect leadership in my heart through leading me out here. Not just for the opportunities that He’s given me here, those are awesome, but even more importantly, for the things and places the Lord’s love has been able to touch in my heart. It’s like Ellensburg, and any future place I find myself in really, is just another backdrop for the Lord to cause love be cultivated in my heart.

Thank you again to all who have been praying for me here and there while I’m out here!

Till next time,

Grace and peace!

Washington Update

Tomorrow, I’ll have been here in the Burg for three months. That. is. crazy. In some ways it’s gone by really fast but it also feels like I’ve been here for so much longer. The Lord’s been up to a lot of cool stuff. It just amazes me how much He can do within one week let alone months. He’s just been doing a lot of stuff in my heart, really shedding light on things and transforming me day by day. Been a little hard at times but it’s that bittersweet paradox of getting healing. I’m just thankful that He’s not content to leave me where I’m at and that He loves me the same ridiculous amount all throughout the journey.

I feel like I’m really settling into Ellensburg more and more. I just love this town and the people that I get to share life with here. Like I’ve told a couple people, me being here just feels so right. I can feel the Lord’s perfect leadership. I know that He’s got me right where He wants me and it’s such an awesome feeling. Ha, as I’m sitting here I just saw the Lord’s hand going into this big bag of “tricks” that He has in store for me while I’m here so I’m excited to continue to see what He has in store. I’ve also been really blessed by being a part of the church family that I am. I think  I mentioned before how they are so sensitive to the Holy Spirit and fixing their eyes on Jesus. I keep telling people it’s like a little company of David’s, people who are just after His heart. Staying with the Millers has been an amazing blessing as well. I just love that family . Oh, and I also started babysitting for one of the families here during the week. That’s been a lot of fun. I feel like it’s the Lord “mom-training” me which is good times. I’m also really loving working with the youth kids. We just did a little visit to IHOP-NorthWest this past weekend and are hopefully gonna be going to a John Paul Jackson conference the first weekend of November.

I think that about does it for update-age stuff. For all you New Jersey folk, I’m looking to come home around Christmas time so I will most likely see y’all then .

Grace & Peace 8)

Thoughts…

Random thoughts/update post =)

• A couple people have asked me how everything’s been in Washington so far so I just thought I’d post a little update on here . Everything’s going pretty well! After about the first week I had a rough day or two as it was just really hitting me what I just did lol. Driving across the country to move somewhere is more of a big deal than I thought. But the Lord totally sustained me and walked me through it and I’m feeling much much better. But yeah, everything’s been good, started cleaning houses a couple days a week too which is a good change of pace from Old Navy. It’s also been awesome living with Jenna and her fam too, their just so great. Everyone at their church is awesome, lots of little kiddies who are just precious as well.
• I’m starting to get kinda curious about what the Lord and I are gonna be doing out here. One of the guys from their church just got back from doing the Luke18 intensive back at IHOP with a heart to see something get started here in Ellensburg and it’s just kiiiiiinda interesting that I’m basically coming right from a house of prayer so we’ll see how stuff plays out .
• Oh and the weather? Amazing. Having no humidity is saweeeeeeeet. Can get pretty hot but I’m totally content because there’s basically no humidity. Today and yesterday have even felt like spring cause of the wind and I’m lovin it. What’s cool too is how at night it gets really cool out where as in Jersey it stays kinda hot and gross most of the time. Still love Jersey, just not the mugginess that goes along with it .
• Been to Seattle twice so far now. Really cool city. Has it’s own little city vibe in my book 8) .
• Still practicing the guitar. Trying to do at least a half hour each day. Sometimes I just end up messing around but I’m trying to learn John Mark’s “How He Loves” so I gots to train my fingers to learn the chords. It’s been good though and with the help of Holy Spirit hopefully I’ll have the song down in the next couple of months

That’s all for now! Love and peace!

The Season’s Are A-changin’

Just about two months ago I had a very important sit down with the Lord. The result of that sit down now brings me to my last couple days in Jersey (at least for a while) where this Friday I will be heading out to the West to Ellensburg, Washington. These last two months have been such a roller coaster and so great for my heart, despite how “great” it felt at times lol. Back in the beginning of May, I remember sharing this revelation I got with Jenna and Dora one night. I was reading through Exodus and that day was on Chapter 10 and the first couple verses say:

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the ears of his officials so that I may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them, that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the Lord.”

Pretty much immediately after I read that the Lord gave me this phrase, “I’m more interested in winning your heart than just giving you what you want right away.” Think about it, the Lord could have just plucked the Jews right out of Egypt but for sooooome reason He chose to do it the way we read in Exodus. So much drama and extravagance. Why? He was in the process of wooing their hearts. It was more than just getting the Jews out of Egypt. He wanted their hearts and all those signs and wonders were to point to the fact that He is the Lord and the pursuer of their hearts. When I first got this revelation I was just super excited cause it’s really cool but what I realized a couple weeks later was that that was actually a word for me lol. The Lord could have just made all this stuff with getting to Washington happen overnight. He can do anything. But He chose to do it sooooooooo specifically and full of crazy details and twists and turns because He wanted my heart to fall more in love with Him. More than getting me to Ellensburg, He wanted me to learn more about His nature and His faithfulness. When I re-think over the past two months and all the ups and downs of my heart, the moments of waiting, the breakthroughs, all I keep telling Him is, “You are crazy” and it’s a compliment I promise lol. For real though, I’m just in awe of who He is, how He moves on my behalf. Nuts.

Now, all my stuff is packed and it’s just two days till Drew and I leave. A week from today I will actually be in Ellensburg! I’m feeling a lot of things all at once. The Lord got me through the nervousness stuff and I’ve just been feeling more excited about what Him and I are gonna do in my life really. It all feels kind of surreal to be honest too. I have nooooo clue what’s gonna go down but I know it’s gonna be good .

Oh, and I’m gonna try and do a blog post each day of the trip, maybe throw in some video blogs on facebook or something too 8) .

Thoughts…

Haven’t done one of these in a while So just some thoughts on this hot (and very humid) night.

• Well I guess I should make an announcement first. I’ve got the official days for when I leave for Washington. Friday, July 16th is the date my brother and I have set for the departure . Drew will be coming home Tuesday the 13th, just chillen for a couple days and then we’ll make the 5 day trip out to Ellensburg, hopefully getting there by mid-late afternoon on Tuesday the 27th. I’ve been calling this our “road trip retreat” 8) . I think it’s gonna be awesome times for Drew and I with the Lord and each other. We’ll probably laugh, cry, the whole boat. What’s awesome too is that it takes just about 40 hours of driving time to get there and Drew reminded me about how ya know, the number 40 is always significant in the bible for awesome things. So I’m really excited to see what the Lord has in store for us on the journey
• I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, I think I’ve reached a point where I can say that I really do love New Jersey. Now the reason I can’t believe I’m saying this is not because I’m like, “there’s no way anyone could love New Jersey” but rather because if you knew how I felt about being here right after Fire in the Night, you would realize how big of a statement of transformation this is. I couldn’t stand being here and didn’t even care about revival coming to New Jersey to be really honest. The Lord had to do a LOT of work within me. I’m just in awe of what He’s done and how He can totally transform our hearts and unite it to His desires. It’s funny too cause I actually really started to feel a love for New Jersey after I knew I would be leaving. And it’s not really a love fixed upon physical stuff, though there are many things that I really do admire about New Jersey in that sense if you will. But I just feel like my heart has really been connecting and agreeing with the Lord’s concerning HIS desire for this land and what He’s going to release here. I’m actually excited about what the Lord’s going to do and really do love to pray into His purposes for this state. I know I’ll definitely be coming through here again and will totally still be praying for New Jersey and His bride here because I want my heart connected to what He’s doing in this state. It almost feels like a privilege. Maybe I’m starting to feel this before I go too so that I have an awareness of what I’ll be carrying from New Jersey to Washington. Spiritual cross-pollination (which is a whole nother blog for another day) really happens and I know I’m going to be “pollinating” Ellensburg in some way so I guess it would make sense to know what kind of pollen I’m carrying from the east . Oh, and just a side note, I LOVE that we’re called “the garden state.” I was just looking at a license plate the other day and I was like, “Man Lord, how awesome is it that I get to be from the “garden” state. That is so significant for a looooooot of reasons. It’s just beautiful
• Sometimes I really miss playing softball. These girls came into Old Navy tonight in their Long Hill Twisters uniforms, which is the girls all-star softball team that I played on back in the day, and it total brought on some nostalgia. I wonder why it was so exhilarating for me. I would get the best feelings whenever I hit a line drive, slid into a base, or made a quick play at second. I guess it was the adrenaline rush or something. Even just playing catch with someone was so enjoyable for me and totally still is. Here’s a pic from my Twisters softball time 8)

Clearly I was a really cool 14 year old

• The guitar that was given to me…absolutely perfect in every way. The color, the body, everything. I’m really excited for what’s to come in the use of it. Lately I’ve just been playing it for at least a half hour every day to try and get my poor little fingers calloused up. They really hurt in the mean time but I hear that means I’m doing something right. I’m hoping that by the time Drew’s here they’ll be pretty much calloused so that he can show me some basic stuff that I can take with me to work on in Ellensburg.
• I really love Jesus, He is just lovely . And if He’s not ashamed to call me His, than I don’t want to be ashamed to call Him mine. When Misty Edwards was teaching on Psalm 45 this one time, she was talking about how it says “my heart overflows with a good theme concerning the King” and what not. She went on to talk about how when we as people really love others there’s this overflowing thing that goes on in our hearts and we just want to talk to people about them because we love them so much. I’ve done that a bunch of times and see it a lot too. It’s just this natural response in the way the Lord made our hearts. When we love or are really excited about something we just can’t help but want to tell anyone. And it may not even necessarily because you want the people your telling to feel the same way or whatever, sometimes it’s just brings such joy to our own hearts. I want that so much for the Lord. I’ve felt it a couple times, where I’m just like, “Ah, I just wanna talk about Jesus with someone” but I’ve just been hungering for that reality more.

Following the Lamb Across the Country

Gotta love that “suddenly” character of the Lord. These past 3 weeks I’ve definitely been tasting that side of Him as He’s been shedding light on my path in regards to the next step in our adventure together. And this time, the adventure doesn’t just bring me to a summer internship. This time it’s moving me across the country.

If you go back a couple blog entries you’ll find one where I just kinda recap about my time in Ellensburg, Washington. For those who may not know, that’s my friend Jenna’s hometown who I did Fire in the Night with last summer. If you go back and re-read that entry real quick, I talk a little bit about how the Lord just really knit my heart to that town. Before leaving to come home I knew the Lord was going to have me back in Ellensburg for an extended period of time at some point. Jenna’s parents are pastors and all I knew was that I was going to be helping out with their church in some way but that’s all I got. So I just kinda tucked that away in my heart when I left, wanting it to be soon but didn’t really think that would be likely I guess. But apparently the Lord was about to do a 360 on me.

I’m not really gonna go into all the details on here, but long and cool God story short the Lord basically started to tell me that I was going to be back in Ellensburg way sooner than I thought, like “in about a month or two” sooner. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks or so just really seeking Him on this and He’s really responded and moved in a lot of ways already. Details are still being worked out but it’s looking like by mid-July or at some point in the summer I will be making the move across country to Ellensburg. I’m gonna be staying with Jenna and her family there and like I mentioned, helping out with their church in some way. I know that this is kind of a big ball to drop and probably incredibly unexpected. I mean, I really didn’t expect this at first myself lol. But with all the Lord’s done recently I just can’t deny it’s Him. If you wanna hear some of the craziness of how this came about totally grab me if you see me and I’d love to explain a little more.

I’m not really sure about specifically how long I’m gonna be there. The Lord has been making pretty clear though that it’s an up and move type deal for me. I know I’ll be back in Jersey at some point and will totally still be connected with what’s going on with IHOP-EG and what not. But for now all I know is Ellensburg and then “dot, dot, dot.” And like I told Jenna recently, anything can happen in the “dot, dot, dot” of following Jesus .

Where I’m at now in the midst of this is just really seeking the Lord on what His purpose is for my time in Ellensburg, what He wants me to keep before me. I know that His hand is on this, am really excited, but don’t want to lose sight of what’s in His heart for this next season ya know? I would totally appreciate your prayers for that and also for the Lord to do a crazy financial breakthrough in the next couple weeks. It’s gonna be a good one.

I’ll be keeping stuff posted as the details get more finalized and all. In the mean time, I leave you with lyrics from Brock Human’s song “Come Away” that totally capture what I feel like the Lord’s singing over me right now

I have a plan for you, I have a plan

It’s gonna be wild

It’s gonna be great

It’s gonna be full of Me

Recap: Ellensburg, WA April 16th-24th

Oh sweet, beloved town of Ellensburg, Washington.

After chillen in KC for 10 days, Dora, Jenna and I headed on a plane to the beautiful state of Washington . Even before going I knew I was going to love it and love Ellensburg, which is Jenna’s hometown. Didn’t know why, still don’t know why but I just have this precious heart connect with that place. First off the landscape around there, and basically all of Washington, is beauuuutiful. Driving from the airport was probably one of the most beautiful 2 hour car rides I’ve been on. Talk about an Artist who knows His stuff .

As I’m just re-thinking our time their, my heart is so incredibly grateful to the Lord. We called our time at IHOP our “Fire in the Night Track 2 Intensive” lol and Washington was more of a vacation thing. It was a time full of peace and sweetness to my heart really. I so loved the time of fellowship Dora, Jenna and I had, along with the rest of the beloved Miller clan and others from their church. I could totally sense just a “family-feel” the whole time and that was such a gift in and of itself to me. I loved how pretty much each morning we’d head over to the coffee place for “secret place time.” There’s just something so sweet about pursuing the Lord together. Like I said, the whole time was just sweet, sweet, sweet . We got to partake of an awesome BBQ & the famous “Taco Thursday” at the Miller household, did “farm things,” went for walks, enjoyed the classic films of Pride and Prejudice and The Ten Commandments, shot bows and arrows & BB-Guns, played with little ones, gave it a go at learning how to drive stick, and lots of other precious things. Most of all we loved on the Lord and loved on each other. I love that He is the glue for all this. At the end of the day, He was the center of it all and that is so beautiful.

Gotta have an artsy coffee shop pic

I really didn’t realize juuuust how much the Lord had blessed my heart while in Ellensburg until I got home. I realized that He had been doing something behind the scenes. My heart just felt so incredibly blessed and privileged to have had that time. There’s a bunch of stuff the Lord was showing me about Ellensburg but one thing that was really clear was just the peace that rests over that town. This is how I described it to Jenna:

I feel like it’s a city that is a resting place for the peace of God. Like I told you earlier, I feel like the peace of being there was like, deposited into my spirit. And peace is a Person, not just some universal, etherial mindset or something. If I’m feeling peace, I’m feeling Jesus so He is totally present in Ellensburg. It’s reminds me of something Bill Johnson said once, “Peace is not the absence of something, it’s the presence of a Person.”

I feel like the Lord gave me a precious, unique gift in Ellensburg through the beautiful times I had with my friends and also just by being there. My heart will greatly rejoice at the time that I get to head back there whenever the Lamb leads .