The Humility of Jesus

Ever since Stuart Greaves spoke about the beauty of Jesus’ humility and meekness as our Servant, my heart hasn’t been able to get away from this amazing attribute of His. Jesus’ humility is one of the most stunning things to me. You might be wondering what that picture of the apple tree painting has to do with any of that. I’m in the prayer room right now and they’re singing around this verse in Song of Solomon 2:

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my Beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” (verse 3)

A while back when I first started to get into the Song of Solomon and would come across this verse, I really had no idea what it meant for Jesus to be likened to an apple tree. All I understand from it was that it’s like she’s saying that He’s the only source of nourishment and refreshing. And that was and still is an awesome truth for my heart that the Lord revealed to me. But when I actually saw an apple tree in real life, it opened up so much to me.

Now, I didn’t see an apple tree for the first time in the past years or something. I’d gone to the orchards and stuff as a kid, but I was a kid. Any tree seems huge and majestic to you. But I remember when I first drove by an orchard of apple trees in the last couple years. My response was, “That’s what You’re like?” It suddenly made so much sense! If you’ve seen an apple tree, you know that they aren’t the most ascetically pleasing trees, especially in the winter time. They’re kinda all over the place branch wise and overall they’re just…small. The Lord reminded me of that verse in Isaiah 53 that says,

“He grew up before Him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him.”

The One who’s very name IS beauty! The One who was covered in unapproachable light, covered in His Father’s glory since before time began! He came and took the lowest place. He was so high and lofty but came so low. That is unbelievable to me. No wonder why Isaiah says before that, “Who has believed our report?”

Like an apple tree…He came so low to make Himself, His fruit, His life available to us. He was wrapped in light as with a garment but when He came to us, we found Him wrapped in OUR flesh and swaddling clothes as a helpless baby! Man. I love how the bride here in Song of Solomon is exalting Him as this apple tree among the trees of the woods too. His amazing humility makes Him to most beautiful among men, the fairest among men to our hearts.

That’s what I was trying to show in that painting I did up top. The background is supposed to represent the high and lofty trees. And the apple tree Jesus’ beauty and humility. I purposely did the background black and white. When you look at the painting, because the background is that way, your eyes go straight down. Not to what is high and lofty, but straight down to where He is. That’s where I want my heart to go. To where He is as my Servant, to learn from Him how to be meek and lowly like He talks about. He is exalted IN His humility and servanthood as higher than the lofty things of this world.

This is such an appropriate theme in the midst of the Christmas season too. We won’t ever exhaust what it meant for our Jesus to come as that little baby. The earth received her King in the body of a shivering, little, crying baby boy. The King who knew glory forever and ever, CHOSE to rise up from that place and lay aside His eternal garments. To take on the form of a servant, to meet with us and wash us (John 13:4, Philippians 2:6-8).

God, especially this holiday season, reveal to us Your humility. Let us fall in love with You and how beautifully humble You are.

I Will Watch & Pray

I heard Lou Engle say once that “sometimes God comes searching for us in songs.” So true. You know those moments where you’re chillen with Jesus, listening to a song and your heart just gets rocked? It’s like something new gets sealed on your heart, a revelation or reality that seems to comes outta no where.

I had that moment with this one specific song last summer that I’ve been thinking about lately. It’s called “All My Devotion” off of Kristene Mueller’s CD “Those Who Dream” (which I HIGHLY recommend to anyone who doesn’t have it yet, serious good times with Jesus). The whole song in general for me seems to sum up the visions and heart cries of my life. But there’s this one specific line that really brought about one of those “sealing” moments in my heart. The verses are:

“And I know you don’t come as easy as some, but I will watch and pray, I will watch and pray…”

Before I came across this song, I was kinda going through a time where all these accusations and doubts were being thrown my way about the validity of the lifestyle I’ve given myself to in following the Lord and specifically just what I’ve given myself to regarding prayer and all that jazz. I love how the Lord uses songs to bring breakthrough and clear up our vision though! When the song came to this part it was like something shifted inside me. I feel like those words gave me language for a confession of commitment to the Lord. That even though I could run to things that offer some sort of instant gratification, I will still stand with You Jesus. No matter how different my life may look compared to the status quo, or how different Your ways are compared to the ways of this world, it doesn’t matter. I’m still in this with You and I’ll stay the course. I will watch and pray.

One of the girls from youth group had this awesome picture she shared at bible study a while back that totally relates to this whole reality too.  She explained how we’re like these little seeds that are growing to become trees. As we grow we have a choice of where we want to drink our water from; we can either drink from the world or from Jesus. She went on to say that if we drink from the waters this world has to offer it’s because they seem easier to get. But “if you wait and thirst for Jesus you will never thirst again and begin to branch out and spread the love of Jesus.” I love that. It’s the same thing.

So if you’ve been feelin’ some of the stuff that I was feelin’ just be encouraged friends. It’s not in vain and He’s more than worth it. Let this be your confession of love too as you run the race and follow the Lamb

And head over to iTunes to download this awesome CD

From Patmos Musings

Ever since seeing From Patmos on Sunday, the Lord has been stirring up some serious stuff in my heart. I know I’ve mentioned it a bunch of times on facebook already but seriously, if you haven’t seen it yet check it out (Click to Watch). It will so bless your heart and increase your love for Jesus. It was anointed and awesome when I was watching it but it wasn’t until the next day that I really realized how much it affected my heart. A big part of how it did for me was the way they showed Mary of Bethany’s story.

Mary of Bethany is probably one of my favorite things to talk about. I mean hey, that’s where the name for this blog comes from after all. It’s because of what she represents, what she did for Jesus that stirs my heart to do the same. She gave all for love and wasted all she had at His feet. There was something about seeing those scriptures being portrayed through From Patmos that made it so much more real to me. Seeing real people act it out just made the whole reality tangible. It really happened! It made my devotion to Jesus seem all the more real as well. I just keep thinking about what Mary saw in Jesus. How her heart came alive when He spoke. How when she looked at Him, she saw the most beautiful Man who was about to do the unthinkable for her so she couldn’t help but do the unthinkable for Him. She saw His worth. His value. Her act of extravagant devotion to Him was like a life declaration for her saying, “This Man is worth more than anything and I will freely give Him all I have.”

And then there’s Jesus’ response to her act of devotion.

“Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.” (Matthew 26:13)

Stop for a second and realize how much of a big deal that is. What a statement of honor to Mary that was from Jesus. I can just sense the seriousness in His voice, the jealousy and passion behind those words. He’s telling his disciples, “I value what she’s done for me so much, that wherever you guys share the gospel and tell My story, her story is going to be shared with it in honor of her.” One day when I was reading this Mary of Bethany account that part of the verses just really struck me. At first I didn’t really get how what she did related to the gospel. So I just asked the Lord why and what He showed me is one of the coolest things ever to me. What I felt like He showed me was that Mary’s story is to be told with the gospel because her act of devotion was a demonstration of what the gospel is. Meaning, Mary was doing for Jesus what Jesus was about to do for her and all of humanity! Mary broke the alabaster flask and poured out perfume on Jesus as an act of love and devotion to Him. Jesus broke His body and poured out His blood as an act of love and devotion to us. That is so amazing to me. That’s the gospel! That Love came and gave His all for us that we might be with Him forever! She tapped into something that the bible says the disciples didn’t even understand. I also felt like the Lord showed me that Mary’s story is to be told because that is what He’s after, that’s what He desires, for that same type of voluntary love to be lavished on Him by all of humanity. He longs for our devotion and for us just to be with Him like Mary was. I feel like this statement from Jesus also just shows how much He honors our love for Him. Even with these other revelations and what not, to Jesus it’s enough for her story to be told just because of His great love for her and the value He has for the devotion human beings bring to Him. There really is no one like our God that has such affection for His people.

Since seeing From Patmos, my heart has been so touched to just give Jesus my all and waste everything upon Him like Mary did. To give Him all my love, all my affections, all my dreams, my plans, just everything. I so long to see others step into this reality of giving Jesus extravagant love and devotion. I just wanna see Jesus receive the glory, honor, and love that He’s worthy of. He is so worthy. He’s worth it. HE is worth it. His Person. We get Him. He’s our inheritance and our portion forever. Give us a greater picture of Your worth Jesus! To see you rightly and respond like Mary.

“I wanna be like Mary, sitting at Your feet, lavishing my love upon You. How I chose that one thing, I give all for love, surrendering everything for You. You are my great reward, You’re who I’m longing for. My beautiful inheritance, Jesus.” – Ashley Prior

Being a Friend of the Bride: Part 2

So I just wanted to continue some of my thoughts from the previous post. I mentioned in there how a true friend of the Bridegroom will inevitably become a friend of the bride. In being a friend of the bride, serving her through prayer is the most beneficial thing you could do for her. I think of that verse in Ephesians where it says how Jesus cleanses us and washes us with the water of His word. I feel like through prayer, you’re partnering with Jesus in that place. You’re speaking HIS words over her and they truly are affecting her heart. A great example of this already being walked out somewhere is how the majority of the prayers that are lifted up out of IHOP-KC (and any prayer room really) are focused on praying for the church in that city. They’re totally already operating in this reality.

Some examples of people walking this out in the bible that the Lord reminded me of are John the Baptist and the apostle Paul. Johnny B as I like to call him, called the people to repentance and desired to turn their hearts to the Bridegroom. We get a more personal view of Paul’s heart as a “friend of the bride.” Over and over again in his letters you see him speaking of his love and affection for the bride of Christ. He believed in her and was jealous to see her walk out her true destiny. One of the things that has really been on my heart with this is that I feel like in the church it’s easy for us to kind of criticize other denominations or even people within our local body. Yes, there are times for us to call people higher and what not but it has to be done in love and humility and not out of a judgmental spirit. I think Jesus’ heart has been hurt sometimes by the way that we talk about “the church.” Think about it, if you’re a guy and somebody is talking bad about your wife and rubbing her weaknesses in her face and all that jazz, that would crush your heart and probably make you super mad too. I have for sure been guilty of doing just that and it wasn’t until someone used that very example that I realized how wrong I was approaching things in my heart. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to talk bad about Jesus’ wife. And like I said, there are times when we need to be straight up about things with people we know, we definitely see Paul doing that a bunch in the New Testament. But the churches he was writing to were pretty well acquainted with him to some extent so he had the authority and place to speak those things. And Paul still believed in those churches despite their current state. My close friends and I know, trust, and respect each other and because of that level of intimacy and respect that we have, we take each other’s words to heart in those moments where we call each other higher. I think it’s meant to work the same within the church at large.

So I guess the main point of this post is to be mindful of our hearts when we talk about the church. Remember that she’s still Jesus’ wife and that as a whole she is still maturing. Believe in her and believe in Jesus’ faithfulness to present to Himself a church without spot or wrinkle who is madly in love with Him.

“For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one Husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.” (2 Cor 11:2) The cry of a true friend of the bride.

Being a Friend of the Bride: Part 1

A phrase that a lot of us are familiar with is “being a friend of the Bridegroom.” That whole reality is so awesome and also one of my main drives in life with Jesus. But the Lord’s been teaching me another aspect of what this means. One that involves not just Him, but something tremendously precious to Him; His bride.

Right now in my life I have lots of friends who are either engaged or already married. It really is quite bizarre to me how so many people are getting together at the same time! I think it’s a sign of the times but that’s another post for another day . Anywhos, a couple months ago I asked the Lord if there was anything He was trying to teach me through the fact that I’m a friend of all these brides. That’s when this whole “friend of the bride” came into play. What I feel like the Lord’s been teaching me is that He needs friends of the bridegroom who will be friends of the bride. I feel like a true friend of the Bridegroom will inevitably enter this place of being a friend of the bride in their hearts because they are feeling what He feels for His church. So what does “being a friend of the bride” actually look then?

I’ve been asking the Lord to reveal the answer to that question through my relationships with my friends who are getting married. I have the honor of getting to stand up there with Jenna on her wedding day as a bridesmaid and also the joy of getting to help out with planning stuff and all that jazz. I felt like the Lord was going to reveal the most stuff through being a bridesmaid in her wedding since I live with her and all. So last month the Lord began to do just that and revealed what I think is one of the foundational things in being a friend of the bride.

I remember there were some moments where Jenna was feeling a little stressed with the wedding plans and in my heart I so wished that I could help make it better for her some how. What the Lord told me was that the best thing I could do is to pray for her. More than giving financially or even helping out with logistics, lifting her up before Jesus and bearing her up in prayer is the most effective thing I could do in service to her. Not that those other things are invalid, but the point that I’m just trying to make is that the main thing about being a friend of the Bridegroom who’s a friend of the bride is that you PRAY FOR HER. That’s the best act of service you could ever do for her. Petition and partner with God on her behalf. Fight for her on her behalf that she would enter into her eternal destiny as Jesus’ bride. Partner with the Lord in cleansing and delivering her in preparation for that day that is coming when she will marry the Lamb.

I’ve got some more things in my heart about all this but I don’t want this blog to be forever long so I’ll save it for another day lol. I’m just really excited to learn all this stuff from the Lord. It’s something I’ve never really thought about before so it’ll be cool to see what other stuff He reveals over the next couple of months.

Stay tuned!

The Dignity of Beholding and Blessing

I was just in the middle of writing a blog entry about the dignity of intercession but as I’m sitting here I realized that before I talk about intercession in the house of prayer, I want to talk about the preeminent purpose of the house of prayer; to behold and bless the Lord.

As I sit in the prayer room right now as the worship team leads in praise and people are doing their thing with the Lord, I’m realizing that the main reason they are here is for one purpose. To gaze. To gaze and bless the Lord simply because He’s worthy. The worth of Jesus should be enough reason to have a 24/7 house of prayer.  It is enough to simply offer unceasing praise, adoration and glory to His name.

The Lord has just really been driving this reality into me this past year. It’s like the lightbulb went on inside of me and I’m finally starting to realize the main point of the house of prayer. It goes beyond interceding and petitioning the Lord for justice. That’s a super important function of the house of prayer and like I was saying, I have a blog to follow this one about intercession, but I’m learning that that’s not the end all of the house of prayer. What the Lord keeps bringing to my attention to show me this is the tabernacle of David and the setting up of the Levites to bless the Lord as their occupation and function in the kingdom.

Sometimes I like to think about what was going on in David’s heart when the 24/7 worship and praise he set up in the tabernacle was first initiated. When he did that, it wasn’t just to change the spiritual atmosphere of Jerusalem. It wasn’t even just because it released grace to have victory in battles. I believe that David beheld the Lord in the beauty of holiness. I believe David beheld the beauty and glory of the Lord in such a way that it caused his heart’s response to be, “HE’S WORTHY TO BE WORSHIPPED FOREVER!” When we behold the Lord rightly, when our hearts get connected to how worthy He is, then 24/7 praise and adoration to Him makes perfect sense, simply because He’s worthy.

…and Aaron was set apart, he and his sons forever, that he should sanctify the most holy things, to burn incense before the Lord, to minister to Him, and to give blessing in His name.” (1 Chronicles 23:13)

Justin Rizzo explains it this way,

“As the return of Jesus draws near, we can now say with confidence that its larger purpose is unto Jesus being adored on earth as He is in heaven – unceasingly and universally by everyone. The primary reason for the worship and prayer movement is that God has promised a day when His Son will be fully vindicated and that He would receive the praise and adoration of all men.

The goal of night and day prayer or worship meetings is not to organize people to do an activity without stopping, nor should its goal be primarily because there is so much need that we must petition Him unceasingly in hopes of revival. The hope of revival and transformation is good and we should desire it – but that hope will never sustain our hearts in prayer long term. When the breakthrough is delayed and it doesn’t come in the way we think it should have, our hearts will grow sick and prayer will eventually fizzle out leaving us with a cynicism in prayer. Before there were lost souls that needed to be saved and prior to any humanitarian need, the confession of those who beheld Him was that His beauty warranted their undivided attention and incessant adoration. Today as we give ourselves to prayer, this confession must be our primary reason and ultimate motivation.”

I’m just barely scratching the surface on all this so I’ll probably have more thoughts to share down the road but I’m just loving this reality. It’s really clicking inside of me and I just feel more confidence the place of prayer and being someone who ministers before the Lord.

You are worthy of night and day worship. You are worthy of unceasing adoration. You are worthy of, so deserving of all our singing. Let a song be heard throughout the nations, telling of Your worth, telling of Your greatness. You are worhty of, so deserving of the nations singing, “Glory to the Righteous One.” – Clay Edwards

Our Blessed Hope

“…looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.” Titus 2:13

Something I always find myself asking the Lord is to give me His perspective, to keep before me where this whole thing is going. Ever since I went to Onething 08 where end times was pretty much the main subject of the conference, it’s like I left with this new paradigm in my heart of desiring to view my life through the lens of the Lord’s return. What I mean by that is having my heart staying connected to the reality that Jesus is coming soon and that having an effect on the decisions I make now. The questions that seems to pop up in my heart at times, usually related  to big life decision things, are something like, “How does this relate to your return? How is this preparing the way? How does this play a part in the bigger picture?” Now, I know I’m definitely not always gonna know the bigger picture, that’s not really the point of me asking that. I just want to be with Him where He is.

What’s cool too is it that if you read through the epistles and what not, you can see that having the Lord’s return before you was something that really mattered to the early church. I think that this verse from Titus is an awesome example of that. I love how it’s basically calling you to that place of having an expectant heart for when Jesus comes back. It’d be an awesome verse to pray read and use to just ask the Lord to give you a heart that ‘s looking for the blessed hope of His glorious appearing. A heart of wisdom that’s been taught to number their days, a heart that’s set on a pilgrimage, all that jazz together. I want my heart to be in that place, a heart that’s gazing on His beauty, waiting for Him and hastening the day of His return.

Come home Jesus.

Ode to Fire in the Night

One year ago today I woke up with butterflies in my stomach like crazy. The Lord had moved and shifted mountains to get me to Kansas City without even breaking a sweat and what I was about to begin just felt so surreal to me. As I stood in line for registration I was actually so nervous I was holding back tears. But bless Tiffany Duong’s beautiful heart, she was standing behind me and totally started up a conversation with me which helped so much. I had no idea I would feel so anxious, I guess the unknown had really gotten to  me. I could feel the excitement intertwined within it all though. I knew the Lord had that silly little grin He gets on His face when He’s excited about something and as nervous as I was, I was ready to jump

As I think back on those three months, I am just beyond grateful to the Lord. I was reading through my journal from FITN the other day and was just praising the Lord for the work He did in my heart. A huge thing for me during my time there was going through inner healing. It was really rough at times, really lol. Those of you who saw me a bunch can probably attest to that. But at the same time it was easy and light and a weird kingdom sort of way. I had to deal with a lot of the pain and baggage I’d been carrying for the past 18 years but what made it light was that I knew the Lord was with me. The pain, longings, emotions, they were all real but by the end of the internship I saw how His tenderness, patience, and kindness walked me through it all. It’s crazy because as I’m reading my journal the other day, I realized that a lot of my dialogue with the Lord was wrestling through those things. I didn’t have too many flowers and blue skies journal entries lol. Had me some serious David “come and answer me Lord, I’m wasting away, you need to do something or I’ll perish” psalms going on there. But they truly are just as glorious. What I realized though in looking all that over, is that it is REALLY easy for the Lord to bring restoration to our hearts! It totally was not my own strength at all. Or my own ability to ya know, “do the right thing to get healed.” Trust me on that one. I felt incredibly weak and broken. But what I kept doing was just giving the Lord everything that was going on within my heart. I gave Him access. That’s been the biggest key and piece of wisdom the Holy Spirit used to walk me through everything. I’d never done that until FITN. I remember so many nights of pacing, saying the same scriptures over my self, giving Him the same pain again and again, not feeling the results right away, but choosing to believe  with what little strength I had that His word and His love is changing me. And ya know what? IT WORKED! It was so crazy. About a couple weeks after I got home, all the sudden I realized that my heart had been healed! I remember how the pain felt within me and it actually felt different within my heart post-FITN. Totally like the lady who got healed with the issue of blood and how it says that “she felt in her body that she had been healed.” I’m saying all this to encourage anyone who’s reading this really. I’m telling you, just give the Lord access, let Him in where you never have before. It may not feel so good in the process but His strength is there for you, it’s my testimony. You WILL come out restored, given double what was taken from you. He is soooooooo kind and patient. He will love you through whatever you need Him to, whatever you need Him to touch. He’ll restore your heart to walk in freedom in ways you never thought you could. Just wait and see

Okay, so that was kind of a long tangent but a huge part of my Fire in the Night experience nonetheless. Anyways, another huge gift to me from FITN was the brothers and sisters I had the honor of running with. Going into the internship I really wasn’t even thinking about the possibility of forming life long relationships with people. I wasn’t like, against it or anything, it really just didn’t even occur to me lol. But the Lord totally surprised me and has given me relationships that my heart will treasure for eternity. And what’s awesome, kind of like what I said in my post from a couple days ago, even if I don’t get to talk to some of them for a while, when I see them or talk on the phone that connect is still there…cause the connect is the Lord . That is just still so beautiful to me. To all my fellow Summer 2009 FITN-ers, I love and miss you guys tons. Loved running with you in the night and would do it all over again in a second. I am so incredibly grateful for every time one of you guys encouraged me, wrote me a note in the PR, told me to stop whining in the bathroom at 2 AM cause my Father’s a King and even just every little hug and smile. I pray the Lord releases fresh grace upon all of you guys wherever you find yourself with Him on this adventure He’s planned for you. Remember His love, remember His faithfulness, and remember He’s coming and wants YOU to partner with the desires of His heart to bring the Father home . May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirits!

Much love to you all!

And all I’m sayin is…I would do NightWatch again in a heart beat. Like I’ve talked about before but there is just something extra about watching with the Lord in the night. It’s just different, in a way you have to experience your self I think. Something about blessing the Lord at 3 in the morning just undoes my heart. Loved getting to behold and bless the Lord in the night .

And so another journey for me begins soon. In July as well haha apparently there’s some thing with me and the Lord and July. The silly little grin is back and it’s time to jump again. Ellensburg here I come

Thoughts…

Haven’t done one of these in a while So just some thoughts on this hot (and very humid) night.

• Well I guess I should make an announcement first. I’ve got the official days for when I leave for Washington. Friday, July 16th is the date my brother and I have set for the departure . Drew will be coming home Tuesday the 13th, just chillen for a couple days and then we’ll make the 5 day trip out to Ellensburg, hopefully getting there by mid-late afternoon on Tuesday the 27th. I’ve been calling this our “road trip retreat” 8) . I think it’s gonna be awesome times for Drew and I with the Lord and each other. We’ll probably laugh, cry, the whole boat. What’s awesome too is that it takes just about 40 hours of driving time to get there and Drew reminded me about how ya know, the number 40 is always significant in the bible for awesome things. So I’m really excited to see what the Lord has in store for us on the journey
• I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, I think I’ve reached a point where I can say that I really do love New Jersey. Now the reason I can’t believe I’m saying this is not because I’m like, “there’s no way anyone could love New Jersey” but rather because if you knew how I felt about being here right after Fire in the Night, you would realize how big of a statement of transformation this is. I couldn’t stand being here and didn’t even care about revival coming to New Jersey to be really honest. The Lord had to do a LOT of work within me. I’m just in awe of what He’s done and how He can totally transform our hearts and unite it to His desires. It’s funny too cause I actually really started to feel a love for New Jersey after I knew I would be leaving. And it’s not really a love fixed upon physical stuff, though there are many things that I really do admire about New Jersey in that sense if you will. But I just feel like my heart has really been connecting and agreeing with the Lord’s concerning HIS desire for this land and what He’s going to release here. I’m actually excited about what the Lord’s going to do and really do love to pray into His purposes for this state. I know I’ll definitely be coming through here again and will totally still be praying for New Jersey and His bride here because I want my heart connected to what He’s doing in this state. It almost feels like a privilege. Maybe I’m starting to feel this before I go too so that I have an awareness of what I’ll be carrying from New Jersey to Washington. Spiritual cross-pollination (which is a whole nother blog for another day) really happens and I know I’m going to be “pollinating” Ellensburg in some way so I guess it would make sense to know what kind of pollen I’m carrying from the east . Oh, and just a side note, I LOVE that we’re called “the garden state.” I was just looking at a license plate the other day and I was like, “Man Lord, how awesome is it that I get to be from the “garden” state. That is so significant for a looooooot of reasons. It’s just beautiful
• Sometimes I really miss playing softball. These girls came into Old Navy tonight in their Long Hill Twisters uniforms, which is the girls all-star softball team that I played on back in the day, and it total brought on some nostalgia. I wonder why it was so exhilarating for me. I would get the best feelings whenever I hit a line drive, slid into a base, or made a quick play at second. I guess it was the adrenaline rush or something. Even just playing catch with someone was so enjoyable for me and totally still is. Here’s a pic from my Twisters softball time 8)

Clearly I was a really cool 14 year old

• The guitar that was given to me…absolutely perfect in every way. The color, the body, everything. I’m really excited for what’s to come in the use of it. Lately I’ve just been playing it for at least a half hour every day to try and get my poor little fingers calloused up. They really hurt in the mean time but I hear that means I’m doing something right. I’m hoping that by the time Drew’s here they’ll be pretty much calloused so that he can show me some basic stuff that I can take with me to work on in Ellensburg.
• I really love Jesus, He is just lovely . And if He’s not ashamed to call me His, than I don’t want to be ashamed to call Him mine. When Misty Edwards was teaching on Psalm 45 this one time, she was talking about how it says “my heart overflows with a good theme concerning the King” and what not. She went on to talk about how when we as people really love others there’s this overflowing thing that goes on in our hearts and we just want to talk to people about them because we love them so much. I’ve done that a bunch of times and see it a lot too. It’s just this natural response in the way the Lord made our hearts. When we love or are really excited about something we just can’t help but want to tell anyone. And it may not even necessarily because you want the people your telling to feel the same way or whatever, sometimes it’s just brings such joy to our own hearts. I want that so much for the Lord. I’ve felt it a couple times, where I’m just like, “Ah, I just wanna talk about Jesus with someone” but I’ve just been hungering for that reality more.

Following the Lamb Across the Country

Gotta love that “suddenly” character of the Lord. These past 3 weeks I’ve definitely been tasting that side of Him as He’s been shedding light on my path in regards to the next step in our adventure together. And this time, the adventure doesn’t just bring me to a summer internship. This time it’s moving me across the country.

If you go back a couple blog entries you’ll find one where I just kinda recap about my time in Ellensburg, Washington. For those who may not know, that’s my friend Jenna’s hometown who I did Fire in the Night with last summer. If you go back and re-read that entry real quick, I talk a little bit about how the Lord just really knit my heart to that town. Before leaving to come home I knew the Lord was going to have me back in Ellensburg for an extended period of time at some point. Jenna’s parents are pastors and all I knew was that I was going to be helping out with their church in some way but that’s all I got. So I just kinda tucked that away in my heart when I left, wanting it to be soon but didn’t really think that would be likely I guess. But apparently the Lord was about to do a 360 on me.

I’m not really gonna go into all the details on here, but long and cool God story short the Lord basically started to tell me that I was going to be back in Ellensburg way sooner than I thought, like “in about a month or two” sooner. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks or so just really seeking Him on this and He’s really responded and moved in a lot of ways already. Details are still being worked out but it’s looking like by mid-July or at some point in the summer I will be making the move across country to Ellensburg. I’m gonna be staying with Jenna and her family there and like I mentioned, helping out with their church in some way. I know that this is kind of a big ball to drop and probably incredibly unexpected. I mean, I really didn’t expect this at first myself lol. But with all the Lord’s done recently I just can’t deny it’s Him. If you wanna hear some of the craziness of how this came about totally grab me if you see me and I’d love to explain a little more.

I’m not really sure about specifically how long I’m gonna be there. The Lord has been making pretty clear though that it’s an up and move type deal for me. I know I’ll be back in Jersey at some point and will totally still be connected with what’s going on with IHOP-EG and what not. But for now all I know is Ellensburg and then “dot, dot, dot.” And like I told Jenna recently, anything can happen in the “dot, dot, dot” of following Jesus .

Where I’m at now in the midst of this is just really seeking the Lord on what His purpose is for my time in Ellensburg, what He wants me to keep before me. I know that His hand is on this, am really excited, but don’t want to lose sight of what’s in His heart for this next season ya know? I would totally appreciate your prayers for that and also for the Lord to do a crazy financial breakthrough in the next couple weeks. It’s gonna be a good one.

I’ll be keeping stuff posted as the details get more finalized and all. In the mean time, I leave you with lyrics from Brock Human’s song “Come Away” that totally capture what I feel like the Lord’s singing over me right now

I have a plan for you, I have a plan

It’s gonna be wild

It’s gonna be great

It’s gonna be full of Me