The Most Excellent Way

It amazes me how the Lord graciously reminds me time and time again that everything is about Love. Lately, the driving prayer inside of me has been for my heart to just be kept in what Paul called, “the most excellent way.” And that is the way of Love.

I love this so much. So you’ve got in 1 Corinthians 12 Paul talking about all the spiritual gifts and earnestly desiring them. Awesome stuff. But then something so cool happens. In last part of verse 31 and goes,

“And now I will show you the most excellent way.” (NIV)

It’s like he stops, turns to the side and opens up a hidden door to this magnificent room. And hence begins the famous “love” chapter of 1 Corinthians 13.

The most excellent way. That will never get old to me. The way of love is the highest thing, the primary thing we are called to in this life. It’s simply what He wants the most from us, our  hearts. We could walk in all those things Paul lists in the first few verses of chapter 13 yet still not have love. That’s crazy to me. It reminds me of how in Matthew 7, Jesus explains how many people who did signs and wonders in His name will be told by Him that He never knew them (verses 21-23). There was no intimacy with Him.

This morning the part in chapter 13 that really struck me was how Paul says that he could give his body to be BURNED and do it without love and gain nothing. When I think of something like that, that seems like such a noble and great thing ya know? And it truly is. But just the reality that struck me was that you could do something like that apart from love. Unless you’re heart is burning with love on the inside, burning your body on the outside will mean absolutely nothing.

I’m just so aware of how easy it is for my heart to get distracted from this most excellent way, from the first and greatest commandment, from the “one thing needed.” It’s so easy to forget that when we stand before Jesus one day He really is going to ask us this question,

“Did you learn to love?”

I want that question to be before my heart every single day. I really do want to be able to present to Him a heart that’s burning alive with the fire of His love. For it to be said of me that in every single season, that I learned to love Him and the people He’s placed in my life and around me well. And loved well by His definition of love.

I want to really live in light of the fact that one day all of my works in this life are going to be tested by fire (1 Cor 12-14). And that fire isn’t just something seperate from Him. It’s His very nature, it’s who He is. In Song of Solomon 8:6 it says,

“For love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame.”

So it’s the fire of His LOVE that’s going to be what’s testing all our works one day. Love is the standard by which our lives are going to be measured. And if we’ve given our lives for the pursuit of loving Him and others then we’ll yield that gold, silver, and costly stones.

Peter echoes the reality of our works being evaluated one day in 1 Peter 1 where he says,

“And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear.” (verse 17)

I’m learning that the fear of the Lord is really simply living before those passionate eyes of fire every moment of every day. Just staying in His gaze of love all the time. But before I bunny trail on the fear of the Lord, I’ll just stop and save stuff for another day.

Back in that section in 1 Corinthians 3, it says that our reward will be given to us if our works that we’ve build upon the foundation of Christ endure (verse 14). And I looooooove how that connects right to 1 Corinthians 13 where it says in verse 7 that love “endures all things.” IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT LOVE!!

My heart’s just so stirred to keep asking the Lord to keep me in this most excellent way all the days of my life. I sure can’t do it myself, it has to be Him. Praise the Lord we have a Helper who is more than happy to lead us in the way of Love. After all, it was His idea and He wants it way more than I do lol.

If this is something that’s really resonating in you, I HIGHLY recommend listening to this new song by Misty Edwards and David Brymer called “Measure of A Man.” It’s basically all about this reality and is the absolute heart cry for myself right now. I’ve just listened to it on repeat over and over a couple times already. Take a listen!

“When it’s all been said, when it’s all been done, when the race is run, well it all comes down to love.” (Misty Edwards)

Gearing Up For The Next Season!

Well I start FMA in less than two weeks now! Super excited but also aware that I think it’ll be a challenging season for me. Kinda talked about that in the last post. I have this feeling that I may never have this kind of season again so I really just wanna take it by the horns and run as hard as the grace of God will help me to.

As a first semester student you do a season of consecration for that semester i.e. no dating. Unless the Lord leads me into another season of consecration at some point, I’ll probably not have this time again. And that kinda excites my heart. I’m just really seeing this time as something really divinely set up by the Lord and I’m so grateful for that.

Orientation is the 19th and 20th and then the first day of official classes is the 23rd. I was able to get a better idea of what FMA offers and their heart behind what they do at their info meeting at Onething and that just made me more thankful for the Lord’s leadership in bringing me here.

I am still in need of about $800 for the tuition. I have enough to pay for what’s due at orientation and they do have payment plans for the remaining amount but I’d like to be able to pay it all off right then so I don’t have an extra monthly expense. I’m believing the Lord for that and whatever happens, I know He holds my finances and I’ve committed it all to Him so I’ll trust whatever He works out.

If you’d like to help out with the tuition you can shoot me an email (beezee190@aol.com) or text/call if you have my number

Prayers for that too are greatly appreciated! Excited to share what unfolds and what I’m learning!

Grace & Peace All!
B

Embracing the Flame

I can’t believe that FMA starts in less than a month. I think this is gonna be a significant season for me. I don’t really have a grid for what to expect but I always know the Lord has cool things up His sleeves when I feel that way. I am really excited but I also feel like this might be a more challenging season than the others.

Since the summer when I attended the School of Worship in Oregon, the Lord has been speaking to me about being refined in the fire. Mostly from Malachi 3:3-4 which is:

“He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver, and He will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord. Then the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in the former years.”

At the School of Worship, Don Potter talked about this a couple times and pointed out that when the Lord comes to refine, He comes to the Levites first, to the ones in the place of worship. And you see that in this verse because then in verse 5 the Lord says that “then” (after that) He will draw near for judgement. And Don was just really putting out that invitation and call to say yes to the Lord’s refining as worship leaders, singers, and musicians. And ever since then, I just can’t get away from this. I’ve been praying this ever since…and aware of what that means. I think sometimes when we talk about stuff like being in a season of refining and the wilderness we give this negative connotation to it as if we wouldn’t want to be in it. I know I have done that a lot anyways. But lately I’ve been trying to view it differently because it’s like, do we want to stay the same? I just don’t want to stay the same, I don’t want to be okay with where I’m at. I feel like there’s this preparation that needs to happen inside of me and I wanna say yes to the flame as much as I can. Now I know that could mean some challenging things are ahead. Refining and wilderness type things are hard but I’m just asking the Lord for grace to embrace whatever He has for me this season. I know it’s to bring me forth as gold, to buy gold refined in the fire and I want all that He has.

When I visited FMA for the day with a friend recently, one of the students got up and shared a word He felt like the Lord gave Him for the school. The gist of it if I can remember it right was that he felt like the Lord told him that He’s set a furnace before them this next semester and that it’s our choice to step in. Yeah. Needless to say I was like, “well that about confirms that I’m supposed to be here even more” lol. That being said, I think a lot of this refining will take place while being in FMA so if you think of me, please send up some incense for me, I always need it.

Like I said, I don’t really know what this is gonna look like but I’m just saying yes now. And praying for grace for whatever lies ahead. I know I can’t make it through on my own strength but it’s gotta be His so I think it’ll be a season of learning to lean more and more into my Beloved and my Father.

“Take me through the fire, take me through the rain, take me through the testing, I’ll do anything. Test me, try me, prove me, refine me like the gold, like the gold…” (Misty Edward’s “Fling Wide”)

 

Christmas Song!

The quality isn’t the greatest cause I just used GarageBand but it still works! I hope your hearts are blessed as Christmas nears with revelation of how amazing our God is in how low He came to us! I attached the scriptures that kind of inspired different parts of the song. I was really meditating mostly on the Luke 2 passages and praying for myself to just really experience what happened when that Baby was born. I pray your hearts get taken there as well!

Lyrics:

(Luke 2:4-7)
What was it like on that silent night
When time stood still as eternity stepped in
What was it like to see the sight
Of this helpless baby boy, who is called the King of kings

What was it like for Mary
To know the King that she depends on now depends on her
What was it like for Joseph
To hold in his arms the One who knit his own soul

(Philippians 2:5-7)
Oh, the humility of our God
Oh, the humility of the One who came for us
Oh, the humility of our God
Who left it all for love (2 Corinthians 8:9)

(Luke 2:8-12)
What was it like in that open field
When the dark rolled back and glory filled the sky
Oh dear shepherds do not fear
Cause born to you this day, is the long awaited Christ

(Luke 2:15-17)
What was it like when they finally arrived
And their eyes beheld that Babe lying in a trough
What was it like to know the Christ
Who once wrapped Himself in light (Psalm 104:2)
Was now wrapped in flesh and cloths (Luke 2:12, John 1:14)

(Philippians 2:5-7)
Oh, the humility of our God
Oh, the humility of the One who came for us
Oh, the humility of our God
Who left it all for love (2 Corinthians 8:9)

(Luke 2:14)
Glory to God in the highest
For that Babe born in Bethlehem!
When a Son was given called Jesus (Isaiah 9:6)
When God became a Man (Luke 2:12, John 1:14. Philippians 2:5-7)

Oh our God became a Man

The Humility of Jesus

Ever since Stuart Greaves spoke about the beauty of Jesus’ humility and meekness as our Servant, my heart hasn’t been able to get away from this amazing attribute of His. Jesus’ humility is one of the most stunning things to me. You might be wondering what that picture of the apple tree painting has to do with any of that. I’m in the prayer room right now and they’re singing around this verse in Song of Solomon 2:

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my Beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” (verse 3)

A while back when I first started to get into the Song of Solomon and would come across this verse, I really had no idea what it meant for Jesus to be likened to an apple tree. All I understand from it was that it’s like she’s saying that He’s the only source of nourishment and refreshing. And that was and still is an awesome truth for my heart that the Lord revealed to me. But when I actually saw an apple tree in real life, it opened up so much to me.

Now, I didn’t see an apple tree for the first time in the past years or something. I’d gone to the orchards and stuff as a kid, but I was a kid. Any tree seems huge and majestic to you. But I remember when I first drove by an orchard of apple trees in the last couple years. My response was, “That’s what You’re like?” It suddenly made so much sense! If you’ve seen an apple tree, you know that they aren’t the most ascetically pleasing trees, especially in the winter time. They’re kinda all over the place branch wise and overall they’re just…small. The Lord reminded me of that verse in Isaiah 53 that says,

“He grew up before Him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him.”

The One who’s very name IS beauty! The One who was covered in unapproachable light, covered in His Father’s glory since before time began! He came and took the lowest place. He was so high and lofty but came so low. That is unbelievable to me. No wonder why Isaiah says before that, “Who has believed our report?”

Like an apple tree…He came so low to make Himself, His fruit, His life available to us. He was wrapped in light as with a garment but when He came to us, we found Him wrapped in OUR flesh and swaddling clothes as a helpless baby! Man. I love how the bride here in Song of Solomon is exalting Him as this apple tree among the trees of the woods too. His amazing humility makes Him to most beautiful among men, the fairest among men to our hearts.

That’s what I was trying to show in that painting I did up top. The background is supposed to represent the high and lofty trees. And the apple tree Jesus’ beauty and humility. I purposely did the background black and white. When you look at the painting, because the background is that way, your eyes go straight down. Not to what is high and lofty, but straight down to where He is. That’s where I want my heart to go. To where He is as my Servant, to learn from Him how to be meek and lowly like He talks about. He is exalted IN His humility and servanthood as higher than the lofty things of this world.

This is such an appropriate theme in the midst of the Christmas season too. We won’t ever exhaust what it meant for our Jesus to come as that little baby. The earth received her King in the body of a shivering, little, crying baby boy. The King who knew glory forever and ever, CHOSE to rise up from that place and lay aside His eternal garments. To take on the form of a servant, to meet with us and wash us (John 13:4, Philippians 2:6-8).

God, especially this holiday season, reveal to us Your humility. Let us fall in love with You and how beautifully humble You are.

Looking Ahead

In a recent post of mine, I mentioned that I wanted to share a little more about what I feel like the Lord might be opening up for me as I look towards my time here in Kansas City. So here’s that post

Obviously doing the Forerunner Music Academy is one of the main focuses of my time here. But in the weeks leading up to the move, as I was praying about this next season with the Lord, I realized something else that I feel like the Lord might be making a way for me to do.

Since I was 16, it’s been the desire of my heart to serve in a house of prayer as a full time intercessory missionary. What that means is that as my occupation so to speak, I would spend my time as one who ministers to the Lord as well as intercedes for specific regions, nations, justice issues, and whatever else the Lord puts on my heart. As I’ve been praying about this next season like I mentioned, I feel like the Lord is finally opening up the door for me to do this full time as has been my desire for several years. In talking to the Lord about what that would more specifically look like, I’ve decided to set my heart to do 30-36 hours a week in the prayer room. When school starts I’m required to spend 24 hours a week in the prayer room and as long as my school schedule allows, I’d still want to spend more than that in there. I’m treating this as seriously as if I had a job doing something else and am trusting the Lord to bring provision to do so according to His will. As of right now, I’m still in the process of raising the full financial support I’d need to be able to do that so I might have to get a part time job until that time comes. But the good thing is that since I’m not in school until January, I’d still be able to spend a good chunk of time in the prayer room.

This whole support raising thing is a really big step of faith for me. I’m kind of just stepping out seeing what I feel like the Lord is opening up for me and leaving it to Him to make whatever His will is to happen. That being said, I just kinda wanted to generally throw it out there to anyone reading this to seek the Lord about potentially partnering with me in this. I say “partnering” because it’s much more than just making sure I can pay my bills and have food to eat each month. A partner is someone who takes part in something with  you and that’s exactly what anyone who would support me would be doing; partnering with what the Lord is doing in  my life with music and song, partnering with seeing His kingdom advances in prayer and good works, and ultimately, seeing Jesus ascribed the glory and worth He’d due in the earth.

If the Lord leads you to partner with me in any way you can just contact me via facebook, phone or email and we can talk about details and what not. But like I’ve been telling people too, the biggest support I could really ever receive is prayer.You are still partnering with me in all those ways I mentioned in the previous paragraph by partnering with me in the place of prayer and I am so, so grateful for the prayers that people offer up on my behalf. 

I’m excited to see how the Lord plays things out concerning all of this. A verse that He’s been putting in front of me a lot lately is Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” So that’s what I’ve been standing on as I begin this next season. I’m just trying to remember to set Him as my chief Delight and vision, to seek first Him and His kingdom as He says, and trust Him to bring to pass whatever His will for my time here looks like.

I look forward to sharing about how He moves in  my life and heart!

Blessings!
B.

Update-age!

Hey there everybody Just wanted to share a little update since arriving to KC.

Well, the drive went well! A big and sincere THANK YOU goes out to anyone who was praying for us! Felt the serious grace to drive the long hours and the weather was beautiful the whole way. When we finally got to KC, I diiiiid feel slightly delirious and out of it lol but I’ve been able to rest from the long weekend.

Yesterday I moved into my new place that’s only about a 10 minute drive from the Prayer Room and really close to IHOPU which I’m really grateful for. The place is really cute and as of right now I have one other roommate who is actually doing the Simeon internship. That’s IHOP’s internship for people who are I think 50 and up. I think it’ll be really great for me to be able to live with someone older so I’m looking forward to that. At some point we will have another roommate but we’re not quite sure when that will be. (I posted pictures of the new place on FB if you wanted to see )

I posted yesterday on facebook how if there’s a word that means “more than surreal”, that’s exactly how I feel with being here right now. To be honest, it’s been a little rough for me the past couple days, just with transitioning and all that. It’s kind of a mixture of beginning a new season, grieving the people and place I just left, and also just having to do all these “grown-up” things that I’ve never done before lol. I realized that I think that part feels extra hard because I have never had the responsibilities I do now so I’m just not used to it ya know? But with dealing with all this, I’m just trying to make sure I process through with the Lord and lean into His faithfulness and perfect ability to take care of me. I guess I also just feel like I have to take care of myself now in ways I never had to before, and while that is true just with the new responsibilities I have and all, the Lord will STILL take care of me. I’ve just really been trying to hold on to and come back to that truth. It may look different this time, but I’m just trying to feed on the fact that He’s still taking care of me. It’s easier said than done at times, I mean even as I write this I say it in complete weakness but I’m so glad that He’s with me and will help me through all I’m feeling. And I’m also really grateful that it’s not like I don’t have anyone else around me too. Some of my dearest friends from Fire in the Night still live here AND my older bro’s here so I am so thankful for that.

So I’ll probably still be settling in the next week or so, just taking it easy and remembering to have grace for myself in the transition. I’m excited to see more of those lovely KC faces that I’ve missed and look forward to spending time in the prayer room. Oh! And I’m gonna check out the church that Drew goes to this weekend! I’m really excited about it, it’s downtown in the city and I’m hoping that if it’s somewhere the Lord wants me to be and my schedule allows I’ll be able to continue to go once FMA starts.

I think that’s about all for now! I did want to ask for prayer specifically just for grace and comfort for my heart as I’m transitioning, that I’d continue to just run to the Lord in deeper ways in it all and that He would manifest His nearness and comfort to me in deeper ways than I’ve known as well.

Ellensburg – I miss you!

New Jersey – I’ll see you in a couple weeks!

KC – Here I am 8)

Grace and peace!

B

Quick Update Pre-departure For KC!

Note to self: get back into blogging! I’ve been thinking about this blog a lot lately and how I kinda wanna get back in the swing of posting. I’d just especially love to so I can share what’s going on with me/what the Lord’s speaking to me a little more than I’d be able to in newsletters and what not so hopefully that’ll actually happen lol.

Most of you know that I’m just days away from leaving for Kansas City, MO! I’d like to write a separate post about the things I feel like the Lord is opening up for me in KC and just what my time will look like and all that jazz. But for now here’s just a quick little update of some things before I head to KC:

• The Lord provided a place for me to stay! I’m gonna be renting a newly remodeled townhouse and for a GREAT price! I’m so excited to check it out 8)
• My brother and I are heading out sometime Friday morning. We’ll get into KC probably sometime Sunday evening.
• I had a LOVELY going away party at the Miller homestead this past Sunday. Really was the perfect send-off.
• Aaaand I’m gonna miss my Wellspring family/Ellensburg to pieces.

I also just wanted to ask for prayer specifically for grace and comfort in the transition to KC. I’m more praying into the second and third week of being there than the first because that’s probably when it’ll really hit me more. It’s crazy how you can be totally excited about what lies ahead and at the same time grieving about where you’re leaving!

Anywhos, thank you in advance for the prayers and support! I’ll try and get on here again soon to post about some more specifics about my time in KC like I said so stay tuned!

Much love!

B.

It’s A Real Day

“As surely as the sun rises, He will appear…” (Hosea 6:3)

Jesus is gonna come back. I’m really going to stand before Him. It’s a real day! It’s a real day! It’s not some fairy tale, it’s not some wishful thinking. There really is an appointed time when He is gonna split that sky and return for His bride. It’s REALLY going to happen. I know I am repeating myself but I have been so struck lately with how REAL that day is. The day I stand before Him. When I’ll finally see the One that I desire and long for. The One I’ve given everything for. The One having not seen, I love with inexpressible joy. The real Jewish Man, Jesus. One day I’m really going to look into His eyes. I’m really going to be able to feel His tangible embrace in a way that is only appointed for that day. I’m really going to know Him as I am fully known, and see Him as He sees me. Oh how my heart longs for that day! It’s REAL GUYS! IT’S A REAL DAY! THIS IS OUR BLESSED HOPE! This is what the word says our HOPE is!

“…looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.” (Titus 2:13)

Again, it’s a REAL DAY! I can not say that enough! Oh how it gives  my heart such hope and endurance to run this race. I can’t wait! And how Jesus longs for that day even more than we do! For us to be with Him where He is. Finally. When the consummation comes and we are One with Him. When the marriage supper of the Lamb actually happens! Everything, everything is working towards that Day. All creation groans for it, every human heart longs for it whether they realize it or not. He’s gonna come home soon. Here. He’s gonna take His rightful place and be the most righteous, perfect, kind King this world has ever even tried to dream of. Because of truth, humility and righteousness will He return and establish all that IS true, all that IS humble, and all that IS righteous. He will establish Himself for He is all those things! Oh, I can’t wait. We get to marry the Lamb, the King, the Ruler of the Universe, the most perfect and beautiful Man there is. And WE get to marry Him. I’m reminded of Tim Reimherr’s song that goes, “There’s gonna be a wedding, IT’S THE REASON THAT I’M LIVING, to marry the Lamb!” This is the drive for my whole life. To live for another age, to set my mind and heart on things above, to look towards that heavenly city. Oh Jesus help! Help fix my gaze on that day. Fix our hearts on that day. We love You Jesus!

Make haste my Beloved! Even so, come, Lord Jesus! Give us grace till that day when we’ll see Your face. Let the weight of that reality crash into our hearts and drive us for all of our days.

“…I’m living for that day that is coming. Ultimately, I’m living for that day that is coming. When You split the sky and return for Your bride. So I don’t wanna be comfortable right now, I wanna feel the ache” (Jon Thurlow)

Kansas City here I come!

So as you can tell by the title, I’ve got some news to share . Well folks, I’m gonna be planning on moving to Kansas City this October and applying to start IHOP’s Forerunner Music Academy (FMA) in January! I know this might seem like something outta no where (as most of my things with Jesus are these days ) but I’ll explain a little more about it on here.

For the past month or so I’ve felt like I was in a new season with the Lord. You know when you can just feel it inside of you sometimes? I’ve been praying about that and asking Him basically just what Him and I are doing now and what this new season feeling is all about. I won’t get into all the details but basically I feel like the Lord has opened up some things for me in terms of being in Kansas City. Kinda the main thing that’s on my agenda in being there right now is to attend IHOP-KC’s music academy but I’ll still be serving in the house of prayer and on the missions base and what not.

Ever since my trip to that school of worship I wrote about recently, I’ve just have this really strong desire to learn and grow in my musical skills and what not. It’s like I feel this intense need for it and almost an urgency I would even say. I just really wanna cultivate and steward what the Lord’s given me so that I can further partner with Him in how He destined those gifts to be manifested in my life and the world around me. FMA has always been in the back of my mind because of some encounters I’ve had with the Lord in the past and I just feel like this is the time to make that next step in the journey. I know that this step holds way more than just learning some musical skills though. Through the teachings and experiences that lie ahead, I am so excited to just grow in intimacy with God and the knowledge of Jesus. That’s where all our outward gifts and stuff have to flow out of so I’m just really looking forward to diving deeper in this context.

As I prepare for this I know it’s going to be an opportunity for me to grow in trusting the Lord. I’m just trying to keep reminding myself to continue to lay all of my plans and ideas on the altar and hold all that lightly, trusting Him every step of the way. Now, that’s waaaaaay easier said that done, I’ve totally already hit a couple bumps in the road in my heart lol but I’m so glad that even if we don’t trust Him, we can ask Him to help us to and He’s sooo willing and able to do so .

As things roll along I’ll try to update. So far as a date is concerned, I don’t have a definite yet, but it’ll either be the 3rd or 4th weekend of October. I did just wanna ask for some prayer covering with this too. Here are a few requests:

- Provision for the trip out there, living expenses, etc & for the FMA tuition

- The Lord’s timing in all the details that need to be worked out

- Above all, grace and peace for my heart to trust and rely on Him and to be sensitive to His leadings and His ways

Thank you all SOO much for your support in my life throughout every season and all the bends and turns of the journey. Much love!